Razors, Pin Needles, and Swords

Hey.....still not feeling so bueno right now. But this is one I've been meaning to write. Its another eye opener to a road few have been on. I hope you understand it....

He hurt me
He called me names and destroyed my name
He left me a shell of a woman

How can I recover from this
How I hate how I feel
How does he know just what to say just to destroy me

I'm left an emotional mess
I'm in my room shaking from frustration
I'm lost at how to recover

So I search my room for the antidote
So many choices I cannot make a decision
So much pain my vision is blurred from the pain and the tears

I cannot take this internal pain
I wish it was a sore
I could just put a band aid on it

My mind wanders
My hand finds a possibility
My hand shakes building up the courage

Now I feel release
Now my blood no longer boils
Now it only runs

Finally my release
Finally my mind is free from my troubles
Finally I can breath free

Only I went to far
Only an inch to far
Only if I would have given it some thought

I no longer feel pain
I am getting numb actually
I can feel myself grow tired and cold

The blade falls
The body hits the floor
The eyes shut and the breath escapes

To compensate with my emotions
To rescue myself from a pain that could not be bared
To release myself from a world that could be unforgiving

I've severed my pain
I've severed our connection
I've severed the vain that kept me racked in pain

Now I feel no pain
Now he cannot hurt me
Now I no longer live

Topsy Turvy

Hey....I'm at a low morale at this time, so this is something that kinda expresses how i feel at the momment....


For a moment I floated
High above any trouble,
gliding above any hater

But now I've come crashing down
Flying no more, but slamming in to a floor of agony
Never has this feeling been experienced

I hear encouragementbut it only hovers where i once was
Is this the harsh reality
Nobody has my back,except just to stab me?

I'm lost
Left only to hold the map of life,
wishing to find myself and my destination

Rock bottom is where I lay
Before I was on my way up,
but now i rest on the bottom

Taking a breather
My eyes closed,
but swelling

Soon to burst onto nobody's shoulders
Leaving my face,
only to land on my shirt

Never knew what all alone meant till now
I left "love" to return to "love",
One fake, the other absent

Is this what the real world has in store?
An appeal to leave to success,
but you open your eyes to dissappointment?

Oh how I wish I could bring myself up
Just to reach up
and grap my own hand and inspire myself

But somethings call for help
If I scream it at the top of my lungs
no one shall come running

Plans have been laid, but also have been overlooked
Plans have been made, but instructions have not been given
Plans have been claimed, but one is sure to be a failure

I once again, am lost
No one can give me direction
Ill will is around me constantly

I grab onto the false encouragements
Hoping that I can fool myself
into believing thier words

I sit in the midst of the public with tears on their mark
Ready to race,
I wonder which eye will cry more

Understanding of pain for pain hits my mind
I want this to be overI need this to end

Love has left me for dead
Pain has become my friend